


6/10

by vampgirltish



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: F/M, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 07:23:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8135267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampgirltish/pseuds/vampgirltish
Summary: "I feel like a six out of ten."based on dodie clark's song by the same name.





	

_> Hey, are you doing alright?_

He texted you pretty late that night. You didn't really feel like replying. So you gave him something half-hearted.

_< I need to get up early tomorrow, so I'm going to sleep. Night._

But he persisted, you saw, through the vibration of your phone on your bedside table and the illumination of the light in your room's previous pitch-dark. The screen held the notification of his text, but you could see the faintly blurred photo of him giggling with his arms around you as you made a goofy face.

_> What's your number at?_

To anyone else, that wouldn't make sense. 

Out of ten.

Out of ten, you had to pick.

_< 6._

He replied almost instantly.

_> 6/10._

You put your phone away, and went to sleep. You had to get up early tomorrow.

~*~*~

Parties at his work scared you. He knew that. Even when he'd asked you for your number again that morning and you repeated a 6. He knew you were only at a 6. But you'd gone out on 4 last week, left your house on 5 in the past. He knew that you could handle it.

"It feels like you never come around anymore, (y/n)!" Suzy says. Brightly smiling. So happy. 

6/10, you thought to yourself. Be happy. Mimic her smile. It forces its way onto your face. 

Did she mean something by that comment? You didn't visit often enough? She was upset with you for that... Would she hate you more if you didn't show up when your number bumped down a few notches to a 4, to a 3?

He was gone, talking with Arin about some thing they had to record soon. A sketch or something. You hadn't listened when he'd excused himself after handing you a glass of some drink you didn't remember asking for.

"You look like you've seen a ghost, are you okay?" Brian asked, appearing out of nowhere, it seemed. He did that a lot.

You jumped, startled by his sudden voice. Brian puts a hand on your shoulder, laughing a little, "Jeez, it's okay. I didn't mean to scare you."

Suzy's face was in a fitted, pursed frown. Pity... She pitied you... Was there pity for you? Was her pity justified at all?

Brian could tell you were upset... nervous... Could he see that your 6 had faltered to a 5 already?

And when he came back over after his conversation with Arin had ended, he looked at you, curiously... uneasily... Could he tell too? 

Brian asks you again, "Are you doing alright?" Pity... Did he mean something by it? Did he mean to point out that you were being awkward.

You opened your mouth to speak, but you were at a 5, and you couldn't really formulate a reply. Brian watched you close your mouth again and nodded. Understanding? Pity? You couldn't tell anymore.

Dan filled in the space that you didn't speak. "She's a little under the weather."

That was the excuse he used every time you went below 7, and you knew people didn't buy it anymore. But you weren't really open with anyone about what these emotions made you feel... He barely understood them because you didn't tell him. His friends didn't know anything.

He took you back to his place, and the two of you watched a movie. But halfway through, he paused it, the colors blurred on the screen and the two white bars of the pause symbol large in the top-right corner. In the middle of some speech from the main character about motivation. He loved this movie...

He was talking to you but you weren't really listening. You just nodded along absently as your thoughts swirled and echoed around in your head. He didn't really want you around... He didn't really love you. He pitied you. Just like all his friends.

In a pause of his conversation, you knew he'd asked if you were listening. If you were still there, or trapped in your own head. But you didn't answer his question. "I'm gonna just call a taxi to take me home. Don't worry about it. I... um, I have to wake up early tomorrow."

The same excuse. Again.

You got out your phone, dialing a taxi service to take you home. You paid the bill.

He texted you as you stepped into your place.

_> What happened? What's going on with you?_

What did he mean... Still so disappointed in you.

He pitied you so much...

You didn't say anything. Kept all your words to yourself because they didn't matter. Wouldn't mean anything to him, to his friends, to anyone, to you at all. 

He texted you again.

_> Number?_

Out of ten.

Out of ten...

_< 6._


End file.
